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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

No more fuzzy mould

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A new life, a new blog, a new me.

Or is it.

It’s at least somewhat ironic that the day I decide to start my new blog is also the one day that my house is pretty clean. You see, I have a problem. A big one. A big messy one. Sometimes it will even be crusty or mouldy, if I let it get bad.

I am a royal slob.

Very embarrassing to admit, but they say that admitting you have a problem is the first step. I have a problem. I have no desire to clean anything EVER. In fact, this is a problem I have had for a long time. I even remember a certain grade two teacher giving me the nickname…’messlie’ (a play on my actual name). Oy. I also remember the time in grade four when I finally cleaned out my desk at the end of the year and found a pear that had actually turned turquoise stuffed at the back of my desk. Very nasty.

There were also several times in university where my nalgene bottle would sit full of orange juice for so long it would ferment, distort and threaten to explode with unreleased gases. Even yesterday, I stunk up the kitchen because of a Tupperware full of black beans that we (okay, not me) finally removed from the fridge. They had been there for two months, and I was just too apathetic to care. I really do have a problem.

So now you know the dirty secret. I am dedicating this blog to a life of renewed domesticity, and also to my new husband. He tolerates quite a bit from me in this respect.

I will tell you about yesterday though. Yesterday evening, at 10PM, a virtual bomb dropped on my house. It came via the telephone. My mother was coming tonight. Oy. Not cool to only have 24 hours notice, especially when I will be sleeping for 8 of those hours and at work for 11 (long commute). This left me a measly three hours to transform my swinely haven into a castle fit for a mother.

From this point on, I vow not to let my house get to the point where I haven’t seen my dining room table in two months because it’s covered in flyers, where I wear my shoes in the house because I just can’t stand having the dust/dirt stick to my feet anymore, and where I will no longer allow a tea cup to ferment in my office until it is a nearly unrecognizable fuzzy white lump. :)

Here are my goals for today:
1. I will not go to bed without making sure the kitchen is clean.
2. I will fold my laundry instead of leaving it in a crumpled heap on the floor until the next time I wear it.

Now, I can’t be the only person with this problem. Usually, the only ones who will come out of the woodwork are those detestable individuals who gleefully ‘confess’ that they spend three hours a day cleaning their home. These people – I will never be one of them, nor do I have a desire to be one. There are too many fun things to do to waste my life cleaning. But until I get a massive raise, I can’t afford to hire someone to clean for me. So I’m going to work on cleaning up after myself at a reasonable rate. And don’t blacklist hubby – he definitely does more than his fair share, but neither one of us is a real Martha.

I could be half Martha though. At least I can cook.


Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm the same, although this is the first time I'm admitting it. I have a feeling that this will be one of my new favourite blogs!
I'm living with the future in-laws at the moment, and developing good habits. I hope that they stick when I move into my new house!

Anonymous said...

WOW! A kindred spirit! I know all about the fermented orange juice, and fuzzy teacups. There are way to many other fun things that need to be done, for me to waste my time with something as trivial as *cleaning*!!

Good luck on your new resolutions!

Anonymous said...

Leslie you sound just like me!!! I've sat down at my desk in the morning after the weekend has gone by and gone "Hmm...what is that godawful smell?" and discovered it's the hot chocolate I kept meaning to take to the kitchen. I have only recently learned to COMPLETE a load of laundry from wash, to drying, to folding in one night. I'm still working on the kitchen, and cleaning clutter. I've found some new tips and tricks and products thanks to the magazine "Real Simple" - this months issue has a section on cleaning when you've got 15 mins, 30 mins, an hour or half a day, all split up into sections of the house. Check it out!!! Their website is good too -

Anonymous said...

Well, shoot!

No more food entries???


leslie @ definitely not martha said...

Thanks for the comments ladies! :) So encouraging!

To anonymous...there will be food entries, don't you worry. :) However, tonight was hubby's night to cook his famous spaghetti, so my only contribution was super-yummy garlic bread.

olive oil
pressed garlic
sea salt
fresh ground pepper

1. Combine oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
2. Brush over open baguette.
3. Broil 3 minutes or so.


Anonymous said...

"nalgene bottle would sit full of orange juice for so long it would ferment, distort and threaten to explode with unreleased gases"

You are horrendously witty.

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